It’s been two months since I made the big transition from being of mom of 2, to a mom of 3!
With that transition, I’ve spent a lot of time at home. Including my first week home from the hospital when a blizzard hit and I didn’t step out the front door for a week. A week! Never in my life has that happened and I kind of hope it never does again.
Times of transition and change always seem to provide a good opportunity to reflect and reevaluate things in my life. When it comes to mothering, I look back on what the season has been like, the challenges I’ve faced, and the areas I most want to grow.
With adding a third baby to the mix (and currently not getting out as often as I was), I’ve come to appreciate being at home even more. The Lord has been faithful to remind me that my home is where I am most needed and along with service to my church, is the most important place I spend my time.
Here are just three things I’ve been pondering the past couple weeks:
My children need me to be home
Even as a stay-at-home mom (which I like to call work-at-home mom ;-)), it can still be very easy to always be on the go. There is often so much to do and a plethora of options to fill up my time: groceries, errands, library, park, play dates, post office, ballet, swim, gym, and of course, Target!
I love being active and getting things done during the week. But I am also realizing that when I am constantly on the go, I’m more prone to miss things with my kids. I’m buckling carseats and making sure hands are held and the baby isn’t crying and lists aren’t flying and no one is wetting their pants for goodness sake! It’s much easier for me to get impatient, stressed, and misjudge situations with my children.
These days at home have taught me the importance of streamlining my week as much as I am able (because all of the things above are good things) so that I have more undistracted time with my children at home.
I need to slow down and really listen to their stories and made-up songs.
I need to say “yes” more than “not right now” when they say, “Mommy can you color with me?”And maybe even learn to draw a strange creature called a “minion” (even if I have to watch a youtube art lesson).
I need to show them how to clean their room (and not just expect them to know).
I need to pray for them and with them when they tell me that they want to believe in Jesus but they don’t understand why they can’t see Him right now and that they really wish He would just come sit on their bed.
I need to take the time to lay down with them and tell them story after story of “when you were a little girl” because one day they won’t be either.
A relationship cannot grow unless it is cultivated. And their little hearts are the softest kind of soil.
I need to be home
I think there can be a lot of pressure from others and even from ourselves, to always be on the go. 5 little words have been a great comfort to me lately, “It’s okay to stay home.”
And it is not only okay, it is good.
Titus 2 teaches us as young wives and moms that our home is not only where we should be busy, but that we actually need older women to remind us to spend our time there because we often forget.
What a load of pressure was recently lifted off of me when I shared with an older woman that I couldn’t seem to get out the door the same way as before and she gently reminded me I didn’t need to.
It’s okay to not get all those errands accomplished. It’s okay to not make every play date or library hour. It’s okay to spend an hour coloring and then two hours trying to clean it all up. It’s okay.
I recently found a sweet print online that says, “Let’s Stay Home.” I printed it out and put it on my fridge because it reminds me of a little four year old who says to me often, “I just want to be home today.”
And I want to say on more days than one, “Yes, that is exactly the plan.”
My husband needs me to be home
It’s often said, “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” It’s true though isn’t it? I’ve found that when I try to do too much outside my home, I’m not the happy and kind wife my husband loves to love.
When I make more time to be in the Word and focus my energies where they truly need to be, I am less frazzled and more content when my man walks through the door.
And even my Texan who thinks big and doesn’t analyze details will express in his way how much he appreciates how I’ve made our place a home.
He wants to come home not just because I’m there, but because he knows I want to be there. And that makes all the difference.
Because when I’m happy to be home, all those moments of cleaning up spilled milk, folding yet another pile of laundry, organizing a junk drawer, or wiping down a dirty toilet lid, show how much I love this life we’ve made together.
It says this home matters to me because you do.
I’m not just a “cleaning lady” who cleans to clean, I clean because I love.
I wash dishes because I love.
I wake up in the middle of the night to feed a baby because I love.
I clean a dirty oven because I love.
I make my husband his favorite dessert because I love.
I read stories in my pajamas without make-up on because I love.
I make paper chains and paper snowmen not because I’m “crafty” but because I love.
I do things that may seem meaningless to others or a waste of my mental energies because I love.
I love my husband. I love my children. And on top of all that, God is happy that I do (Titus 2:4).
So I think I will enjoy this season for a very long time.
And as much as I can, say, “Let’s stay home.”